Sometimes…actually, A LOT of the time…fighting Lyme Disease still feels like quite the storm. Today God lead me to this verse…“He calms the storm, so that its waves are still.” ~Psalms 107:29 Love that I can trust my Jesus with the storm of Lyme Disease…and with any storm in my life. ♥ Whatever storm you are going thru dear friend, keep your eyes on Him! He always sees His own safely thru any storm. ♥

Tonight I'm feeling so beautifully overwhelmed by Jesus...overwhelmed by how well He takes care of me.  <3 A dear friend from Mexico called me this morning and shared with me a story about a sparrow she found...and how if "His eyes are on the sparrow, then I know He watches me."  Who am I...that Jesus is mindful of me? <3  It just brings tears to my eyes contemplating how much He cares...<3  Over, and over, and over again Jesus has provided for my financial medical needs literally sometimes the day before or hours before I needed the money.  Over and over and over again thru nothing short of miraculous ways.  I have NEVER had to miss a treatment or not be on the right medication due to insufficient funds.  Is that not how Amazing our God is or what?!?!?  He's done so many miracles in my life that...how can I say "no" to giving Him every part of my life and soul. <3 

Yes...everything is still hard.  Even tonight, that's why I'm still up at midnight...:-P  The pain is literally taking my breath away and with how impossible it is to get comfortable I'm not sure sleep will come tonight very easily. But "HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT."  He is *always* enough.  Earlier today I found myself thinking because of the severe pain..."I hope I'm not sick for many more months because I can't take this anymore."  And I heard His gentle voice say, "Monica, you don't need to worry about tomorrow...next month...or next year.  Am I enough for you right now?  Am I giving you the grace and strength that you need for right now...this minute?"  "Oh, yes, Jesus...You are." was my reply.  "Well then...just keep taking it one minute, one hour, one day at a time.  I know the PERFECT moment for you to be healed...and I WILL HEAL YOU then...no sooner and no later.  Until then, I will give you all the grace you need." 

"He sent out HIS WORD and healed them..." ~Psalms 107:20  More of Him...More of His Word...<3  That's where the healing is...spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically...ALL healing is from Jesus. <3 

 I got a note today from someone I don't even know...it made me cry.  About how my Lyme Blog has touched their life...and pointed them to Jesus.  I never, ever ever would have chosen to go thru this....but the awesomeness of my Jesus thru it all has brought me to a place I would never trade it for anything. <3  Because of my Lyme Disease...I'm connecting with precious people ALL over the world who desperately need Hope, who desperately need healing, who desperately need the encouragement to not give up.  And ONLY JESUS can give that to them....but sometimes...He chooses weak, broken vessels...like me...to help point them to Him.  It humbles and amazes me that He could use my life...but that's just like Him.  And I am so grateful.  I'm praying that all of this would deepen my ministry to others.  I now know pain...on such a deeper level than 8 years ago.  I know emotional heart pain...years of constant physical pain...and how easy it is to give up.  Although I HATE the pain...I'm beginning to love more and more the beauty that HE BRINGS OUT of pain.  The doors that HE OPENS to reach out to others because of the pain.  And the heart knowledge...not just the head knowledge...but the heart knowledge from personal experience now...that JESUS IS ENOUGH. <3  So many hurting people in my life currently...I just want to love on all of them and help them see how much HE LOVES THEM and how much restoration He wants to bring to their life.  But it can't be me doing it...it has to be Jesus. <3  Now that doesn't mean I'm content with being sick.  No, absolutely not!  I'm fighting with everything in me to recover from this horrible disease...but I am SOOOO thankful for ALL that Jesus is doing THRU me having the disease--in my life and in the lives of those that He brings into my path. <3

Some Happy Moments from the Day:  

 

Yesterday was chocolate chip cookie day!  And today was peanut butter cookie baking day! :)  I think we have about 200 of these now for Sunday's party. ;) 

 This card keeps blessing me over and over and over again from my dear, dear friend Abby Hilton. <3  Of COURSE I love it because it's from Abby. <3  But I ADORE that it has the Names of God on it. <3  Such precious Names...it's who God is!  Who He is for Me!  And who He will be for You!

Jehovah Jirah; Our Provider

Jehovah Nissi; Battle Fighter

Jehovah Shalom; Giver of Peace

Jehovah Rophe; Healer

Jehovah Tsidkenu; Our Righteousness

Jehovah Shammah; Ever Present One

Jehovah Rohi; Good Shepherd

On really discouraging days I love to get out my list of the names of God and just start praying thru them and thanking Jesus for what characteristic He is in that name.  Amazing how quickly the discouragement will disappear when you start dwelling on who your God is. <3

 We finally celebrated this handsome man's Birthday tonight with ice cream and chocolate cake! :)  Happy 16th Birthday my Amazing Brother! <3

Wrote a BIG THANK YOU on my Lyme Blog. :)  Still totally in awe of how incredibly amazing God is and at all the loving, generous hearts He has put into my life!  I often think of these verses when thinking of how many people have played such a role in the fact that I am still alive and am moving towards FULL healing:  “For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death.  BUT THAT WAS TO MAKE US NOT RELY ON OURSELVES BUT ON GOD WHO RAISES THE DEAD.  He DELIVERED us from such a deadly peril, and HE WILL DELIVER US.  On Him we have set our HOPE that He will deliver us again.  You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.”  ~2 Corinthians 1:11  That last line….**the blessing granted us through the prayers of MANY.**  My life has been SO blessed by the prayers of SO MANY.

Tonight at family devotions I thought Mom shared some good insights about prayer. She said something like this, "I think someday when we get to Heaven we will be able to see how powerful prayer was here on earth.  But for now, we need to keep the faith strong about the power of prayer...just like the Israelites in the Old Testament had to keep the faith strong that there really was a Messiah coming."

Well, it's been very therapeutic for me to write on here.  Thankfully I am so sleepy now that I think the sleep will overcome the pain. <3  I'm not expecting anyone to read thru this at all. :)  It's long...but I love documenting what Jesus is doing in my life and heart.  I know someday I'll love to come back and read thru this blog. <3 It's important to "remember"....cuz as humans, at least for me...it seems way too easy to forget things. :-/

Good Night and Sweet Dreams World! :)

Love Always,

Monica Nicole

www.lymehope.org

Miracles

"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving." ~ Amy Carmichael

"Love is seeing in others what Christ saw in them when He created them." 

"The best way to forget your problems is to help someone solve theirs." 

"The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but it's donation." ~Corrie ten Boom

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expecting to give -- which is everything." 

"Unless I am on my knees I cannot live in His love." ~Andrew Murray

"A life of prayer will make a life of love to Christ, to other Christians, and to those without Christ." ~Andrew Murray

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." ~Romans 5:8

 "Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law." ~Romans 13:8  

Benjamin Turns 16 Today!!!

Happy 16th Birthday, Benjamin!! 

Wow...how time flies!  I still remember so clearly the day that this precious boy was born!  :)  I was at a friend's Birthday Party when her Mom informed me that I had a new baby brother!!  Mom had dropped me off earlier in the day totally not suspecting Ben to arrive that evening and so my Grandparents had to come pick me up from the party.  My little 9 year old heart was SOOOOO excited to have another little brother to love.  <3

This handsome Dude is one hard worker! :) Poor guy...he ended up spending his whole Birthday working...but he was such a good sport about it!  Since Dad is out of town for work we are celebrating it tomorrow...and also we had a million things to do today for Melanie's High School Graduation Open House this Sunday.  

Adam got him some "Man Tools" for his Birthday. ;)  The rest of his presents he'll get tomorrow when we celebrate it for real. 

Two days into my strong antibiotic shots and I am really feeling it...:-/  The dizziness, balance problems, brain fog, the burning pain, in and out of fevers, unable to handle temperature change...yep...that's the Lyme Die off from the shots...so it's a GOOD SIGN...just not the most fun to go thru.  But I am grateful for every breath of life Jesus gave today! <3  And although my "to-do list" wasn't even touched...I'm feeling blessed for REST...sweet rest with Him...in His Word. <3

As I was reading thru some Hymns...one that really touched my heart was Be Still My Soul. 

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine. 

  

"He who dwells in the *secret* place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." ~Psalms 91:1  So beautifully blessed by this verse today. There is no where else I would rather be than dwelling in the *secret* place with Jesus...safely in His loving shadow.*EVERYTHING* I need can be found "under the shadow of the Almighty" while I am dwelling (spending time with Him) in the *Secret Place*. <3 

     Chris (for all practical purposes our adopted sister ;)) and Alivia.

We had three very good friends come over tonight and help us start preparing for Melanie's Open House.  We were all so grateful for their help today!    Me especially...since I feel bad about not being well enough to handle a whole lot right now. I think we are estimating 200-300 people for the open house!! Feels a little overwhelming at the moment...but it's going to be good!

 It's HANNAH!  Love her!!  She was such a big help today finishing up the 300 chocolate chip cookies for Sunday!  Thanks so much, Hannah! <3 How will 300 cookies last in this house with 11 kids til Sunday?? ;)  Good question!  They are all safely put away in bags in the freezer!  ;)  NOT to be touched until Sunday.

LOL!  Look what I caught!! :-D  A little boy trying to steal cookie dough!  haha....;)  We let him eat just a little. ;) 

 BEST chocolate chip cookie makers ever! <3 :) 

 Thank You, Jesus, for another day of LIFE!  Good Night June 17th!  :) 

Love Always,

Monica Nicole

www.lymehope.org

Happy Father's Day!

 

In honor of my incredible Father I wanted to do a special post JUST FOR HIM! <3 I'm so grateful for you, Daddy!  Your gentle strength and steadfast trust in Jesus has been such an example to me my whole life.  Watching you I've learned how to love Jesus...which is the greatest gift a Dad could ever give his children. <3

My Daddy LOVES the Michigan State Spartans....so of course I had to get him an MSU shirt for Father's Day.  AND...note...I'm wearing a white dress with a GREEN shirt. ;)  The MSU colors...totally in honor of MSU for my Dad. ;)

 Dad

© Karen K. Boyer

He never looks for praises
He's never one to boast
He just goes on quietly working
For those he loves the most
His dreams are seldom spoken
His wants are very few
And most of the time his worries
Will go unspoken too
He's there.... A firm foundation
Through all our storms of life
A sturdy hand to hold to
In times of stress and strife
A true friend we can turn to
When times are good or bad
One of our greatest blessings,
The man that we call Dad.

I'm pretty sure I can speak for ALL of your kids....that YOU are our hero, Dad! <3

  
My Hero

My hero is the quiet type,
No marching bands, no media hype,
But through my eyes it's plain to see,
A hero, God has sent to me.

With gentle strength and quiet pride,
All self-concern is set aside,
To reach out to his fellow man,
And be there with a helping hand.

Heroes are a rarity,
A blessing to humanity.
With all they give and all they do,
I'll bet the thing you never knew,
My hero has always been you (Dad).

--Anonymous 

The best brother and sister-in-law ever with Dad! <3

 One of the things that stands out to me about you most, Dad...is your Christ-Like Love for literally EVERY SINGLE PERSON God puts into your life.  You would do ANYTHING for ANYONE...and that is such a rare quality these days.  Thank you for always being an example of someone who loves others with Christ's Love flowing thru you. <3  You are always the first to forgive, very quick to hear and slow to speak.  (James 1:19-20)  You never get angry or raise your voice...but raise your kids with the patience and love of Christ. 

You're such a hard worker for your family...and work so many night shifts...and yet, you never complain...even tho I know it's hard sometimes.  But when you are home for family devotions...you ALWAYS include in your prayers...for as long as I can remember...that your kids ***would grow to love Jesus more than anything else in this world***.  That comes to mind ALL the time.  I know that is my desire because it's what you have prayed for me and all your kids every single day of our lives.  Thank you, for your faithfulness, Daddy...in working hard and in praying for us. <3

I wish I could post a different version of the above song ( "She Was Watching" by Mark Schultz).  I'd love to find a more classical version...aka: like with just piano and guitar and without the drums.  But I heard this several years back and INSTANTLY thought of you, Dad.  It's EXACTLY how I feel about you! <3 Even down to the line where it talks about the Dad calling home because he lost his job...and then dancing with Mom in the kitchen. :) I can clearly remember a day when that was *you* calling home....about losing your job. There was so much fear and uncertainty in my young heart when Mom told me.  But as soon as you got home, your strength of character, your trust in the Lord to provide, your faithfulness at finding another job...put my heart to rest.  Even tho it took a long time for things to become "normal" after that...and even tho we ended up losing our house for awhile...through it all YOU were such a steady source of comfort and incredible strength.  Your trust in God thru hard times has deeply impacted my life.  Your joy amidst trials has been so evident...even down to little things like dancing with mom in the kitchen.  ;)  I love you, Daddy! <3  Thanks for being such an example to me growing up in so many ways!

Hope the BEST Father EVER had the BEST Father's Day EVER!! :)

XOXOXOXO,
Your Daughter Forever,
Monica

  Random Father's Day Shots: :)

 

Alivia and I didn't want to get spaghetti on our outfits...so we put "BIBS" (Aprons) on! ;)  Haha...Dad thought it was part of my dress! ;)

 My Little Gideon Buddy and Me. :)

 

 Gideon wanted to help Dad open his presents. ;)

Micah, Angela and Ben!

Timothy, Melanie and Larisa

Stephen and Mom! <3

Me, Alivia and Amy

My mom and her incredible Father...my Grandpa. <3 

Little Gid-Gid ran STRAIGHT for the mud puddle...of course. ;)  LOL. 

"Look at ME, Monica!!" ;) 

Gideon rubbed off on the rest of the girls...they all ran for the BIG mud puddle.  Oh dear...LOL. :) 

Another pic of us with Dad...minus Stephen and Amy. <3

Let's Get some Basketball Going! 

Cutie with a basketball. ;)

Bro B-Ball Matches :)

Even Sam wanted to play! :)

Resting in the sun.  Felt SOOOOOO good!  I've been on medication for a year now that didn't let me be out in the sun...went off of it about a month ago and I can't tell you how INCREDIBLE it feels to be able to be out in the sun again! <3

Riding around in the jeep is a favorite for these two little men. :)

They are so amusing to watch together in the jeep. ;)  A never-ending source of entertainment.

Oh NO!  He's driving right for the mud puddle! Lol....:)  LITTLE BOYS! :)

Gideon is driving head on into the puddle...and Sam is covering his ears. ;)

 

Thru the puddle!

 And...out of the puddle. :)  They did that over and over and over and over...:)  It was funny!

Stephen and Timmy watching the hilarious jeep-puddle-diving-episodes of the two little men. :)

 

Gideon also got rides from Sweet Benjamin on his...I don't know what to call this.  Bike-Race-Car thing. :)

 Little Mr. Flexible here. ;)

And that's all folks! :)  Just wanted to include some pictures to capture memories from today's Father's Day. <3 

With Love,

Monica

www.lymehope.org

  God started convicting my heart of some things this morning....it was on my mind and heart all day...and then tonight, especially after family devotions, it's hitting me even harder. <3  I'm feeling incredibly lethargic tonight and Mom just hugged me and said she thinks I have a fever....so I'm not sure that I'll be able to accurately define this post very well cuz my mind feels so heavy with "fever-confusion".  But it just hit me so hard this morning what a precious, yes very hard, but PRECIOUS season this is in my life right now.  A season where I am pretty much allowed unlimited time (except for health treatment interruptions) with JESUS. <3 The Lover of my Soul, my Savior, my Dearest Friend and my Jehovah Rapha.  God's given me this precious time of REST to spend time with Him...in His Word and *Prayer*...and yet, how often do I choose other things over Him?  Yes, they are GOOD things that I choose...even GREAT things...But are they the BEST things? <3  How often am I choosing "GOOD" things over Prayer...and His Word?

  This has always been one of my favorite passages from Scripture...and tonight Jesus really laid it heavy on my heart with conviction:

"Fear not, Daniel (Monica), for from the FIRST DAY that you SET YOUR HEART to understand and HUMBLED yourself before your God, **your words have been heard**, and I have come BECAUSE OF YOUR WORDS.  The Prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days, but Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I was left there with the kings of Persia, and came to make you understand what is to happen..." ~Daniel 10:12-14  

On THE VERY FIRST DAY that Daniel started praying...because of Daniel's prayer...Jesus answered! <3  Daniel didn't see the answer immediately...there was a spiritual battle that had to take place...but as Daniel was praying...the answer was coming!! And Daniel didn't give up! The prayers that I feel like giving up on praying...the people that feel like prayers aren't affecting...the struggles in my own personal life...the unanswered questions and direction...Jesus HAS ALREADY answered...and His answer is coming...it's on it's way.  But I must not give up the battle of praying... <3

"There never was and never will be a believing prayer left unanswered." ~McCheyne

I know that Jesus has called me to be a prayer warrior right now...and yet, I have been falling so short in this area.  Prayer is exhausting!  Why?  Because you are literally entering the *spiritual* battlefield.  I heard a quote once that said something like this, "Satan will fight you more when you pray than any other thing you do."  Why?  Because prayer spells his defeat!  He is no match against our Jesus. And yet, somehow...Jesus has set things in place, where...even tho He has the power to do anything...He sometimes waits for our desperation in prayer to answer.   

A few years back my prayer for the year was, "Lord, teach me to pray" ~Luke 11:1~ I loved to pray...but knew so little about really truly battling in prayer at the time.  And, as we just saw in Daniel 10:12-14....JESUS ANSWERED MY PRAYER...as He always does....what He did for Daniel, He did for me.  He sent mentors into my life who were some of the biggest prayer warriors I have ever met!  The faithfulness and time they spend on their knees crying out to God for people amazed me...they taught me SO much about the importance of faithfulness in prayer. <3  They did a prayer Bible study with myself and other girls.  God used them to teach me how to pray. <3

Their passion rubbed off on me for so long....and then...lately, I'll be honest...I STILL love praying...but I haven't been nearly as faithful with it as I should be.  I haven't been nearly as disciplined at just spending time at His feet listening...like Mary.  I've probably been more like a Martha lately...doing GOOD things...but not the BEST things. <3 

Another quote I heard at one time went something like this, "To someone who prays in faith unanswered prayer is simply evidence that the answer is that much closer." 

Oh, Lord...forgive me for not being the faithful prayer warrior I know YOU have called me to be.  Forgive me for not battling in prayer for those I know on the front lines on the mission field right now.  Show me how to use every minute of each day doing exactly what YOU have called me to do. <3  Balance my life the way You see best. <3  Don't let me give up on prayers I KNOW you want to answer...just because I don't see the answer...doesn't mean it's not coming.

"Much Prayer, Much Power,

Little Prayer, Little Power,

No Prayer, No Power."

"And He told them a parable to the effect that that they ought *always* to PRAY and NOT.LOSE.HEART." ~ Luke 18:1

"Down on my knees...I learned to stand."

"Don't pray when you FEEL like it.  Have an appointment with the Lord and KEEP IT." ~Corrie ten Boom

"Men of prayer must be men of steel, for they will be assaulted by Satan even before they attempt to assault his kingdom." ~Leonard Ravenhill

"No man is greater than his prayer life.  The pastor who is not praying is playing; the people who are not praying are straying.  Poverty-stricken as the church is today in many things, she is most stricken here, in the place of prayer.  In the matter of the New Testament, Spirit-inspired, hell-shaking, world-breaking prayer, never has so much been left to so few.  For this kind of prayer there is no substitute.  We do it-or we die." ~Leonard Ravenhill

"O Brother, pray; in spite of Satan, pray; spend hours in prayer; rather neglect friends than not pray; rather fast, and lose breakfast, dinner, tea and supper- and sleep too- than not to pray.  And we must not talk about prayer, we MUST PRAY in right earnest.  The Lord is near.  He comes softly while the virgins slumber." ~Andrew Bonar 

"The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.  Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months.  And he prayed again, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit. "~James 5:16-18

"Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father.  And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask anything in My name, I will do it." ~John 14:12-14

"There is a general kind of praying which fails for lack of precision.  It is as if a regiment of solders should all fire off their guns anywhere.  Possibly somebody would be killed, but the majority of the enemy would be missed."~ Charles Spurgeon

"He prays not at all who does not press his plea." ~ E.M. Bounds

"God may delay, but He ALWAYS comes." ~ Martin Luther

"Our praying needs to be pressed and pursued with an energy that never tires, a persistency which will not be denied, and a courage that never fails." ~ E.M. Bounds

"I will not let You go until You bless me." ~Genesis 32:26

"There is no power like that of prevailing prayer-of Abraham pleading for Sodom, Jacob wrestling in the stillness of the night, Moses standing in the breach, Hannah intoxicated with sorrow, David heartbroken with remorse and grief, Jesus in sweat of blood.  Such prayer PREVAILS. It turns ordinary mortals into men of power.  It brings power.  It brings fire.  It brings rain.  It brings life.  It brings God." ~Samuel Chadwick

 Tears fill my eyes as I read thru all the quotes I've collected over the years on prayer and realize how short I have been falling in my prayer life the past several months....  Oh yes, I have been praying daily for sure...but there's a difference between praying...and REALLY BATTLING in prayer.  And it's the latter that I have been lacking. :-(

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." ~Psalms 51:17

Tonight...I am once again...falling on my face before God...asking His forgiveness and thanking Him for the conviction He brought tonight. <3  Prayer is something I cannot and must not neglect. <3 Because, for me personally, especially during this season of my life where much free-time allows for it...it is what He has called me to do. <3

Thank, You, Jesus for the reminders today...for your gentle conviction...for your soft rebuke, for your beautiful forgiveness and the chance to always start fresh! <3

Today started 9 straight days of strong antibiotic shots...in my...I won't say where...but let's just say it's going to be difficult sitting down for the next 10 days or so. ;)  It's going to be a long next 9 days with how very, very sick I am already feeling from just one shot.  All the intense burning pain in my muscles from the Lyme Die Off is already so severe it's hard to move.  Thanking Jesus that the medicine is working....but may my spirit be able to use this time of what I'm guessing will be 9 days of complete bed rest to PRAY.  To join the ranks of HIS front line soldiers....praying for HIS victory in my country, my life, my family, my friends and those who do not yet know Him. <3 May my focus be not on the intense physical pain...but on the GIFT OF PRAYER. <3

Wow...I thought this was gonna be a short post! ;)  LOL. Oh, well...writing all of this helped solidify it in my heart. <3

I love you, Jesus!  Please keep teaching me how to pray! <3  Thank You, for not giving up on me.

Love Always,

 Your Daughter,

Monica

www.lymehope.org

Today was a really, really exhausting day...that is why I am crashing now on the couch with my laptop and all my favorite devotional books/journal and Bible.  <3  It was a long day, but still a very good one. <3 I spent literally ALL of today in Grand Rapids for treatments.  My sweet, precious (16 yr. in 3 days) brother, Benjamin drove me out there and sat with me thru it all. :)  It's a 1 1/2 hour drive and on the way there we had such a sweet time of fellowship. We left before I was able to get my devotions in...so I read him the passages of Scripture that was on my reading plan while he drove.  We also sang some hymns together and then I read out of "Of Plymouth Plantation" Book by William Bradford.  The treatments weren't fun...but the fellowship with Benjamin was. <3 :)  SO incredibly grateful for him!!!

Today, as I was looking around the very FULL patients IV room at the different patients...all their eyes...and the stories in the eyes gripped my heart. <3 Everything from pain, discouragement, fear, hope, joy....so much you could see in their eyes.  Praying Jesus transforms me into someone HE can use to bring HOPE to the hurting. <3 It's been so encouraging all the different **God-Moments** He has already been blessing me with thru my being sick and the different people He has been allowing me to meet. <3  Gives me little glimpses of why He is allowing all of this.  I keep thinking about what Mom told me recently, "Monica, if just ONE person comes to know Jesus because of you being sick...all of this will be so worth it."  And she is so right on! <3 This life is for such a short instant...and eternity is forever. Praying Jesus makes me faithful with the precious time He has given me.  Crazy how several years back I was a CNA and wanting to go make all the sick people smile and happy....I had no idea what it was like to battle what they were all battling.  Sometimes I wonder if Jesus was thinking as I was preparing for Nursing School..."Well Monica, you want to help sick people?  I think a Lyme Disease Experience and realizing how desperately you need Me is better preparation than school."  Sigh...looking forward to getting better...but SO thankful for all Jesus is teaching me. <3

LOVED this verses today..."But I will HOPE continually, and will praise YOU yet more and more." ~Psalms 71:14  So grateful that even when the days are hard...when the physical pain from my disease seems like more than I can handle...I can turn to HIS word and find HOPE that continually lifts my spirits over and over.  Yes, I WILL praise Him more and more...<3  He is so good to me. <3

We sang this song tonight during family devotions and the words touched my heart. <3 Wish I could find a prettier sounding version without the drums...but oh, well.  I wanted to remember the tune and words.  I'm not sure that I have ever sung this song before.  My brother, Micah got it from our Pastor recently.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

~St. Francis of Assisi

Not the clearest picture...cuz it's just from my phone. but so grateful for my Brother Benjamin being with me today during my treatments!  I love you, Ben!  You're the best!  Can't believe he's turning 16 on MONDAY!!  Wow...time goes by so fast. <3 

 

 

 Love Always,

Monica

www.lymehope.org

 I'm doing a read-thru-the Bible in a year program and currently am reading thru Psalms.  God has been encouraging my heart SO much reading thru the Psalms this past week.  Countless encouraging promises, scriptures full of comfort and challenging edification.  I've actually wanted to write several posts on here regarding different verses that really stood out to me since my last post on here back in April.  But for some reason...EVERY computer/laptop in our house WOULD NOT let me log onto "blogger".  Strange...I know.  I tried my best to figure out if it was a computer/internet provider or server problem...but never could get an answer.  It didn't work earlier today....and then BAM...it just so happened to work tonight. Praise the Lord! :-) 

So...tonight one of the verses that really caught my eye was "...you who SEEK GOD, let your hearts REVIVE." ~Psalms 69:32b  It stopped me in my tracks and I started looking it up in different versions.

ESV: "...you who seek God, let your hearts revive."

AMPLIFIED: "...you who seek God, inquiring for and requring Him (as your first need), let your hearts revive and live!"

NKJV: "...you who seek God, your hearts shall live."

KJV: "...and your heart shall live that seek God."


It made me start asking several questions...  How do I SEEK God?  Like REALLY seek God?  How do I seek Him enough for my heart to REVIVE?  I loved how the Amplified Version put it..."requiring (JESUS) as your FIRST need". <3  It's amazing how God ALWAYS sends us the perfect verse for *exactly* what we are going thru that very day and that very moment.  Because just this morning when I was spending time with God I was asking myself..."Monica, are you really putting Jesus first in EVERY area of your life?"   Is He the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning?  Is He the last thing I am meditating on/thinking about when I go to sleep at night?  Tonight my prayer is that I would TRULY learn how to SEEK Jesus with ALL of my heart, ALL of my soul, ALL of my strength and ALL of my mind....that I would "require Him as my FIRST NEED" so that He can truly REVIVE my heart in Him. <3 

Someday...when I die...the only thing I really want to be rememebered by is that I was a girl who loved Jesus with everything inside of her.  That I loved every single person He put into my life with HIS love...and that everyone I came in contact with felt His presence in my life.  My prayer is that people WON'T see me...but that they will see JESUS in me. <3 "Lord, make me a crisis man.  Let me not be a mile-post on a single road, but make me a fork that men MUST turn one way or another in facing Christ in me." Jim Elliot  (One of the quotes written in the front of my Bible)

I know I have a long, LONG way to go to be the girl that Jesus wants me to be...and to be the girl that I am describing above. But I think Psalms 69:32b gave me a little glimpse into my responsibility of truly SEEKING Jesus so that HE can transform my life and my heart. <3 I MUST require HIM as my FIRST NEED. <3  Then, and ONLY then can he REVIVE my heart and transform it to be more like His. <3  Teach me how to SEEK You, Jesus. <3 Less of me and more of Jesus!  I shouldn't be thinking about facebook first thing in the morning or last at night....I must be thinking about Jesus... I can't do my stretching time first thing in the morning or last at night...it must be Jesus time... He must always be first and foremost in my life. <3 Psalms 1:1 "but his delight is in the law of the Lord and on HIS law he meditates DAY and NIGHT."

Just a few thoughts/prayers/challenges from my devotions tonight. :)

Love Always,

Monica