Wednesday, June 19, 2013

 Sometimes…actually, A LOT of the time…fighting Lyme Disease still feels like quite the storm. Today God lead me to this verse…“He calms the storm, so that its waves are still.” ~Psalms 107:29 Love that I can trust my Jesus with the storm of Lyme Disease…and with any storm in my life. ♥ Whatever storm you are going thru dear friend, keep your eyes on Him! He always sees His own safely thru any storm. ♥
Tonight I'm feeling so beautifully overwhelmed by Jesus...overwhelmed by how well He takes care of me.  <3 A dear friend from Mexico called me this morning and shared with me a story about a sparrow she found...and how if "His eyes are on the sparrow, then I know He watches me."  Who am I...that Jesus is mindful of me? <3  It just brings tears to my eyes contemplating how much He cares...<3  Over, and over, and over again Jesus has provided for my financial medical needs literally sometimes the day before or hours before I needed the money.  Over and over and over again thru nothing short of miraculous ways.  I have NEVER had to miss a treatment or not be on the right medication due to insufficient funds.  Is that not how Amazing our God is or what?!?!?  He's done so many miracles in my life can I say "no" to giving Him every part of my life and soul. <3 
Yes...everything is still hard.  Even tonight, that's why I'm still up at midnight...:-P  The pain is literally taking my breath away and with how impossible it is to get comfortable I'm not sure sleep will come tonight very easily. But "HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT."  He is *always* enough.  Earlier today I found myself thinking because of the severe pain..."I hope I'm not sick for many more months because I can't take this anymore."  And I heard His gentle voice say, "Monica, you don't need to worry about month...or next year.  Am I enough for you right now?  Am I giving you the grace and strength that you need for right now...this minute?"  "Oh, yes, Jesus...You are." was my reply.  "Well then...just keep taking it one minute, one hour, one day at a time.  I know the PERFECT moment for you to be healed...and I WILL HEAL YOU sooner and no later.  Until then, I will give you all the grace you need." 
"He sent out HIS WORD and healed them..." ~Psalms 107:20  More of Him...More of His Word...<3  That's where the healing is...spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically...ALL healing is from Jesus. <3 
 I got a note today from someone I don't even made me cry.  About how my Lyme Blog has touched their life...and pointed them to Jesus.  I never, ever ever would have chosen to go thru this....but the awesomeness of my Jesus thru it all has brought me to a place I would never trade it for anything. <3  Because of my Lyme Disease...I'm connecting with precious people ALL over the world who desperately need Hope, who desperately need healing, who desperately need the encouragement to not give up.  And ONLY JESUS can give that to them....but sometimes...He chooses weak, broken help point them to Him.  It humbles and amazes me that He could use my life...but that's just like Him.  And I am so grateful.  I'm praying that all of this would deepen my ministry to others.  I now know pain...on such a deeper level than 8 years ago.  I know emotional heart pain...years of constant physical pain...and how easy it is to give up.  Although I HATE the pain...I'm beginning to love more and more the beauty that HE BRINGS OUT of pain.  The doors that HE OPENS to reach out to others because of the pain.  And the heart knowledge...not just the head knowledge...but the heart knowledge from personal experience now...that JESUS IS ENOUGH. <3  So many hurting people in my life currently...I just want to love on all of them and help them see how much HE LOVES THEM and how much restoration He wants to bring to their life.  But it can't be me doing has to be Jesus. <3  Now that doesn't mean I'm content with being sick.  No, absolutely not!  I'm fighting with everything in me to recover from this horrible disease...but I am SOOOO thankful for ALL that Jesus is doing THRU me having the disease--in my life and in the lives of those that He brings into my path. <3
Some Happy Moments from the Day:  

Yesterday was chocolate chip cookie day!  And today was peanut butter cookie baking day! :)  I think we have about 200 of these now for Sunday's party. ;) 

 This card keeps blessing me over and over and over again from my dear, dear friend Abby Hilton. <3  Of COURSE I love it because it's from Abby. <3  But I ADORE that it has the Names of God on it. <3  Such precious's who God is!  Who He is for Me!  And who He will be for You!

Jehovah Jirah; Our Provider

Jehovah Nissi; Battle Fighter

Jehovah Shalom; Giver of Peace

Jehovah Rophe; Healer

Jehovah Tsidkenu; Our Righteousness

Jehovah Shammah; Ever Present One

Jehovah Rohi; Good Shepherd

On really discouraging days I love to get out my list of the names of God and just start praying thru them and thanking Jesus for what characteristic He is in that name.  Amazing how quickly the discouragement will disappear when you start dwelling on who your God is. <3

 We finally celebrated this handsome man's Birthday tonight with ice cream and chocolate cake! :)  Happy 16th Birthday my Amazing Brother! <3

Wrote a BIG THANK YOU on my Lyme Blog. :)  Still totally in awe of how incredibly amazing God is and at all the loving, generous hearts He has put into my life!  I often think of these verses when thinking of how many people have played such a role in the fact that I am still alive and am moving towards FULL healing:  “For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death.  BUT THAT WAS TO MAKE US NOT RELY ON OURSELVES BUT ON GOD WHO RAISES THE DEAD.  He DELIVERED us from such a deadly peril, and HE WILL DELIVER US.  On Him we have set our HOPE that He will deliver us again.  You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.”  ~2 Corinthians 1:11  That last line….**the blessing granted us through the prayers of MANY.**  My life has been SO blessed by the prayers of SO MANY.

Tonight at family devotions I thought Mom shared some good insights about prayer. She said something like this, "I think someday when we get to Heaven we will be able to see how powerful prayer was here on earth.  But for now, we need to keep the faith strong about the power of prayer...just like the Israelites in the Old Testament had to keep the faith strong that there really was a Messiah coming."

Well, it's been very therapeutic for me to write on here.  Thankfully I am so sleepy now that I think the sleep will overcome the pain. <3  I'm not expecting anyone to read thru this at all. :)  It's long...but I love documenting what Jesus is doing in my life and heart.  I know someday I'll love to come back and read thru this blog. <3 It's important to "remember"....cuz as humans, at least for seems way too easy to forget things. :-/

Good Night and Sweet Dreams World! :)

Love Always,
Monica Nicole

No comments:

Post a Comment

Well "hey" there!!

Always good to hear from you. :)

God bless you with a *beautiful* day.