Friday, June 14, 2013

Today was a really, really exhausting day...that is why I am crashing now on the couch with my laptop and all my favorite devotional books/journal and Bible.  <3  It was a long day, but still a very good one. <3 I spent literally ALL of today in Grand Rapids for treatments.  My sweet, precious (16 yr. in 3 days) brother, Benjamin drove me out there and sat with me thru it all. :)  It's a 1 1/2 hour drive and on the way there we had such a sweet time of fellowship. We left before I was able to get my devotions I read him the passages of Scripture that was on my reading plan while he drove.  We also sang some hymns together and then I read out of "Of Plymouth Plantation" Book by William Bradford.  The treatments weren't fun...but the fellowship with Benjamin was. <3 :)  SO incredibly grateful for him!!!

Today, as I was looking around the very FULL patients IV room at the different patients...all their eyes...and the stories in the eyes gripped my heart. <3 Everything from pain, discouragement, fear, hope, much you could see in their eyes.  Praying Jesus transforms me into someone HE can use to bring HOPE to the hurting. <3 It's been so encouraging all the different **God-Moments** He has already been blessing me with thru my being sick and the different people He has been allowing me to meet. <3  Gives me little glimpses of why He is allowing all of this.  I keep thinking about what Mom told me recently, "Monica, if just ONE person comes to know Jesus because of you being sick...all of this will be so worth it."  And she is so right on! <3 This life is for such a short instant...and eternity is forever. Praying Jesus makes me faithful with the precious time He has given me.  Crazy how several years back I was a CNA and wanting to go make all the sick people smile and happy....I had no idea what it was like to battle what they were all battling.  Sometimes I wonder if Jesus was thinking as I was preparing for Nursing School..."Well Monica, you want to help sick people?  I think a Lyme Disease Experience and realizing how desperately you need Me is better preparation than school."  Sigh...looking forward to getting better...but SO thankful for all Jesus is teaching me. <3

LOVED this verses today..."But I will HOPE continually, and will praise YOU yet more and more." ~Psalms 71:14  So grateful that even when the days are hard...when the physical pain from my disease seems like more than I can handle...I can turn to HIS word and find HOPE that continually lifts my spirits over and over.  Yes, I WILL praise Him more and more...<3  He is so good to me. <3

We sang this song tonight during family devotions and the words touched my heart. <3 Wish I could find a prettier sounding version without the drums...but oh, well.  I wanted to remember the tune and words.  I'm not sure that I have ever sung this song before.  My brother, Micah got it from our Pastor recently.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

~St. Francis of Assisi

Not the clearest picture...cuz it's just from my phone. but so grateful for my Brother Benjamin being with me today during my treatments!  I love you, Ben!  You're the best!  Can't believe he's turning 16 on MONDAY!!  Wow...time goes by so fast. <3   

 Love Always,

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