Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Once it was the Blessing

Once it was the Blessing....Now it is the LORD. <3 

I tried to walk today...and...collapsed.  I've faithfully lain on this couch for what seems like an eternity now.  Sitting up was becoming easier and I thought I could take a few steps *by myself*...  I tried standing SOOOO SLOOWLY so my blood pressure wouldn't spike up or spike down...I tried to hold on to things...placed my steps carefully and then in less than a second the sudden realization that it was a horrible idea to take a few steps *by myself*  hit when everything happened all at once...the burning, legs collapsing underneath me, dizziness, heart racing, feeling like I'm gasping for breath, pain beyond description and my entire body going limp.  I spent the next several hours, like I always do after episodes like that... in pain...just focusing on every deep, long breath....tears...shaking...body going from hot to cold to hot to cold...and then the worst of it....fear.  Fear of the unknown...not knowing how long the shaking will last...20 minutes or 2 days...  Closing my eyes as the tears started flowing again and picturing my Jesus on the cross...picturing myself kneeling at His feet...looking up into the face of the ONE who TOOK MY INFIRMITIES...who carried MY sorrow...who was wounded for MY transgressions and that because of HIS stripes I AM HEALED.   (Isaiah 53)  HE IS MY HEALER....HE IS MY HOPE...HE IS MY REST...HE IS MY STRENGTH...even when I don't feel like it...even when so much of me just wants to give up...by the grace of God and ONLY thru His strength I don't give up...I don't give up because of Jesus.  Because His Word is too real...too precious...too hopeful and too TRUE.  HE SAID that He is my Jehovah Rapha, the Lord my Healer...and I choose to believe that....no matter what I feel.  HE SAID that he is El Shaddai, the ALL SUFFICIENT ONE....and I choose to believe that...no matter how I feel.  HE SAID that He is Jehovah Rohi, my Shepherd...and I choose to believe that...no matter how I feel.    HE SAID that He is Jehovah Mephalti, my God who DELIVERS me...and I choose to believe that...no matter how I feel.  Because what I FEEL in no way dictates who my God is.  I may not FEEL strong...but HE IS STILL MY STRENGTH....I may not FEEL healed...but HE IS STILL MY HEALER....I may not FEEL like I have what it takes to keep going....but HE IS STILL MY ALL SUFFICIENT ONE.  <3   

Praise the Lord as of right now....my fingers are working and my eyes can read!! :)  My hand strength goes in and out frequently as well as many vision problems.   At least my hands and eyes work right now...even if little else does! ;)

John 17 has probably been my most read chapter in my Bible for the last...I don't know 5 or so years.  I LOVE reading Jesus' prayer....how incredible to know that the GOD of the UNIVERSE is praying for me!  Read thru it again the other night and was struck by this verse, "And THIS is ETERNAL LIFE, that they may KNOW YOU, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent." ~John 17:3   This is eternal LIFE....this is ETERNAL life...THIS is ETERNAL LIFE...to KNOW Jesus. <3  Cherishing that verse close to my heart tonight realizing that no matter what happens in this life...I KNOW God...and Jesus Christ, who He sent.  <3  And no matter what happens in life...I can rejoice in the fact that I already have ETERNAL life...the blessing of Knowing Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. <3

Can't even begin to describe the blessing this hymn was to me tonight...<3 

Once it was the blessing, Now it is the Lord;
Once it was the feeling, Now it is His Word.
Once His gifts I wanted, Now the Giver own;
Once I sought for healing, Now Himself alone.

Once ’twas painful trying, Now ’tis perfect trust;
Once a half salvation, Now the uttermost.
Once ’twas ceaseless holding, Now He holds me fast;
Once ’twas constant drifting, Now my anchor’s cast.

Once ’twas busy planning, Now ’tis trustful prayer;
Once ’twas anxious caring, Now He has the care.
Once ’twas what I wanted, Now what Jesus says;
Once ’twas constant asking, Now ’tis ceaseless praise.

Once it was my working, His it hence shall be;
Once I tried to use Him, Now He uses me.
Once the power I wanted, Now the Mighty One;
Once for self I labored, Now for Him alone.

Once I hoped in Jesus, Now I know He’s mine;
Once my lamps were dying, Now they brightly shine.
Once for death I waited, Now His coming hail;
And my hopes are anchored, Safe within the veil.

Once it truly was the blessing...now it is the Lord...<3

Sweet Dreams Faithful Pilgrims, Prayer Warriors, Friends and Loved Ones,
Keep pressing on to KNOW Him. <3 
Love Always,


  1. Monica, you are a testimony to God's faithfulness. Your comment on being thankful for your vision and hands made me think of a quote by Nancy Leigh DeMoss on gratitude. "If tomorrow's supply depended on today's thanksgiving, how much would I have tomorrow?" Keep pressing on, dear sister in Christ!! Sending you love, smiles, and prayers.

    1. Wow....Oh, Katherine! Thank you SO very much for sharing that quote with me! What a beautiful way to look at it. <3 LOVE YOU! Thank you for all your love, prayers, notes and encouragement!!! You bless me so much!

  2. PTL Dear Sister!

    Nine years ago my family and I had just finished a REAL vacation to the Rockies together. My children had been praying that God would give us just "one year" without crisis. I had gone to the men of the church twice that summer in tears expressing that I was bone weary of the battlefield and a "puff" would cause me to fall, that if I did, I would need them to pick me up.

    Little did I know how true that would be as days after returning from vacation, I found myself on a platform with a void in front of me that needed to be made safe. As I measured the void, it was as Satan asked for permission to flick my shoulder and God answered yes, but not my life.

    The next thing I remember, I was sprawled 18 feet below and could not move or feel my legs. I had severely injured my spinal cord right below my ribcage. I was sooo comforted and strengthened to KNOW that this was no surprise to my LORD God. God provided me with grace to receive a broken body. Truly, this is but a moment in eternity, and but a brief time to touch the life of others. I am grateful to be counted worthy to be placed back in the work here.

    Your post was a very real encouragement to me today. God richly bless you dear Sister!

    1. Oh, Praise the Lord for your testimony! Thank you so very much for sharing it with me. :) Love how you put it that it is no surprise to our God what we are going thru... Amen! He gives His angels charge over us to guard us in all our ways! Hoping you are experiencing FULL healing now...

  3. Oh sweet girl, I'm crying for you & lifting you up to our heavenly father. May He keep giving you all you need to stay strong & keep fighting! The healing is coming love & Jesus is working all things together for good. Your roots are going so deep in Him. I love you & I can't wait to come sit with sometime in the next couple weeks. Xoxo

    1. Heather Darling...<3 God uses you over and over and over to speak truth into my life! YES! The healing IS coming....<3 AMEN!!! Thank you for your encouragement and prayers! YOU are one amazing cheerleader and I'm so thankful for you!

  4. Everyday we pray, trust and believe that God is your deliverer, Monica! May Jesus receive all the glory for your healing and fight of faith! "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ" Phil 1:6

    1. Yes, Lord! May HE receive ALL the glory in my healing!!! He promised...and it is coming... Thank you for standing in faith with me on a daily basis in this struggle! I so appreciate both of you and your prayers are cherished!

  5. :) Jesus delights in you. He thinks about you all day long and His every holy heart beat says: I love Monica.
    Let Perfect Love drown out all fear in your beautiful heart. <3

    1. Oh Precious.... Yes, definitely the longing of my soul...for more of HIMSELF to drown out all fear. <3 Thank you for such a beautiful LOVING heart towards God and me. <3

  6. Oh dear Monica! You don't know how much your life is reflecting Jesus' love right now! Whoooeee! It's practically screaming a testimony of Him. Through your weakness HE IS being glorified.
    Thank you for keeping on for JESUS!

    1. Dearest Girl...thank you SO much for your encouragement. <3 His grace is amazing...<3 I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH! xoxo

  7. Just finished reading this{and all the comments =) } at 12:12pm my time...and sister, I just have to say thank-you for sharing your on-going life testimony, and faith in God!
    It so blesses my soul to read of your reliance on God to bare you up! Even, and yea especially, when you are at your "lowest"-- oh Monica, how our precious Savior is so FAITHFUL! I thank-you & praise God for using you to be a "living epistle" of His Sovreignty, Power, and Love.
    Know that He is using you to touch, bless, encourage & challange many...for His glory!
    Much love, and a heartfelt hug to you, my sister in Christ!
    Keep pressing into Him who formed you, and knew your every breath, before you ever breathed! He loves you...oh, how He loves you!


    1. Dear Mallory,

      Thank you for you sweet, kind comment! What an encouragement it was to me! Our God's faithfulness to each of us never ceases to absolutely amaze me...and I love that as Sisters-in-Christ we can praise Him for the faithfulness He extends to each one of us. <3

      God bless you Sweetheart! Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. :)

  8. Dear Monica,
    I just wanted to say that I have been tremendously blessed this evening to stop by your site and share a peak in your journey of faith in the Lord...no matter what, no matter how the storm blows. I am so encouraged by your reminder to rest in KNOWING Who our God is, not to rely on (changing) feelings. May the Lord give you continual strength and grace as you keep your eyes on Him. You will be in my prayers. Your life is a testimony for Jesus! Keep looking at Him...for strength, when you have no strength! "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (II Corinthians 12:9) May we be able to say - “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.” (Charles Spurgeon)

    1. Dear Sarah Lee,

      Awww....praise the Lord! Thank YOU for stopping by my blog and reading. <3 Your comment was a blessing and I'm so encouraged that you are praying for me! What a treasure prayer is from the body of believers! Amen to 2 Corinthians 12:9!! How true that is of His precious grace! And oh my goodness! I LOVE the Charles Spurgeon quote! Thank you! I will be writing that in my quote journal for sure. <3 :)

      God bless you!!


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