Monday, October 21, 2013

   Want to know something absolutely crazy?? I was able to make a whole beautifully complete Sunday dinner today ALL BY MYSELF!  Stir Fry, Lamb Hamburgers, Gluten Free Garlic Bread, and green beans with lots and lots and LOTS of spices ( ;)  LOVE spicing up pretty much everything).  All my own made up recipes and tasted delicious! <3  But the food wasn't the amazing/crazy was the FACT that I was EVEN ABLE TO DO THAT!!!!!!!  Especially in light of where I was just one short week ago... It was SUCH an AMAZING thing that I had the strength to walk around that much for that long!! I haven't been able to do that since August!!  It struck me this afternoon what a gift physical strength is! Just a few short weeks ago there were still times I could barely lift my head up...sitting up felt like running a marathon and forget about walking anywhere unless I had help to walk the few short steps to the bathroom.  The Doctors still aren't sure what was/is wrong with me...of course Lyme Disease has all kinds of manifestations and it could have just been the Lyme.  But whatever was/is wrong with Father in Heaven knows.  He sees every intricate DNA strand in my every cell and I believe with all my heart that HE is able to HEAL every last cell in my body with or without the help of human Doctors...whatever brings HIM the most glory. <3 As I started walking around and doing things without needing any assistance I found myself tearing up and crying....because it hit so hard realizing what a precious gift STRENGTH is!!  It is in no way something to ever take for granted.  Strength is truly from the Lord, and in BLESSING me with strength once again in my body...He is entrusting me with something to treasure.  Strength in my body is far to precious to spend on anything but that which will bring Him glory and honor. <3  If He spent every last drop of blood for much more should I be longing to spend every ounce of strength for Him? 

A few verses that really blessed me today:  

"Your God has commanded your strength..." ~Psalms 68:28  

"The LORD will give strength unto His people..."~ Psalms 29:11  

"The LORD is my strength..." ~ Psalms 118:14  

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.." ~Isaiah 4031 

 "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13

I lost the last part of Summer to an almost indescribably painful weakness that sometimes left me too weak to even bring a spoon to my mouth.  Mom had to feed me soup on one occasion because I couldn't even hold the spoon...and swallowing was very difficult.  Day after day the strength didn't seem to be coming back very quickly at all....and I was so tempted to give into feelings of complete helplessness and despair.  But praying back HIS word and claiming HIS Word each and every day brought the strength of spirit that I needed to keep trusting and keep believing and hoping that one His grace...whether or not the Doctors could ever figure out what was going on in my body...I WOULD walk again by the power of His strength.  And Praise the Lord...thanks to HIS strength...I did way more than that today!  I played my viola today for a full hour and a half...loved playing all my favorite hymns as a way of worshiping Him and I can't tell you how many times I found myself just breaking down in tears at the amazing transformation of strength in my body. Thank You, Jesus. <3 I mean, guys...that's HUGE!!  A week ago trying to brush my hair or put mascara on would make my arms collapse in pain and weakness.  So playing a VIOLA for One hour and a half?!?!?  Ummm...that's nothing short of HIS healing touch on my body. <3  Yes, I'm still much weaker than my normal....but SO much better than just a few short weeks ago...and ALL the Praise and ALL the glory goes to my Jesus!!  HE is the ONE that this strength comes from.  Finding myself on my knees before His throne thanking Him, praising Him, and pleading for MORE of HIS grace.  More of His grace because as He is trusting me with more strength...I need HIS GRACE to cover me to make sure I use HIS STRENGTH in a way that would always bring Him glory.  I don't trust my own flesh and strength is far too precious a thing to waste on anything but that which will bless my Jesus and bring honor to His name. <3  Lord, may I be a faithful servant you can trust with YOUR strength. <3 

There were so many dark days and dark weeks the past few months...I almost want to block them and all the pain and all the tears from my mind.  And yet, I don't want too...because those hard moments and hard days PROVED what a FAITHFUL Friend and Lord my Heavenly Father is. He saw me thru one of the darkest valley's of my health yet...and HE.WAS.THERE.  HE.WAS.REAL. It wasn't "okay" what was happening to me...but it WAS "okay"...because He was there. <3  During those days and those moments I felt such a deep, deep need and longing for Him...a longing for a constant washing of His Word...and I don't want to lose that deep desire. I don't want to lose that desire for His constant grace being sufficient.  Just because I may be slowly easing back into my normal life...doesn't make me need Him any fact, in some ways, I need Him more now...because of the "busyness" of life. 

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.  For I am the LORD your God." ~ Isaiah 43:1-3

I read thru some things today that spoke so deeply to my heart and I felt like so accurately portrayed how I am feeling:

"Up to that whiter than snow-shine; up to that place that is as strong and firm as the Throne of God.  Do not say, "That pure, white, holy life is never for me!"  Let GOD lift you; let HIM take the shrouds away let HIM lift up, up to the hill, to the whiter than snow-shine.  And when you get to the top what do you find?  A great, strong tableland, where your feet are on a rock; your steps enlarged under you, your goings established." ~Oswald Chambers

Jesus lead me up the mountain,
Where the whitest robes are seen,
Where the saints can see the fountain,
Where the pure are keeping clean.

Higher up, where light increases,
Rich above all earthly good,
Where the life of sinning ceases,
Where the Spirit comes in floods.

Lead me higher, nothing dreading,
In the race to NEVER stop
In Thy footsteps keep me treading,
Give me grace to reach the top.

Courage, my soul, and let us journey on!

"The peace of God is an eternal calm like the cushion of the sea.  It lies so deeply within the human heart that no external difficulty or disturbance can reach it.  And anyone who enters the presence of God becomes a partaker of that undisturbed and undisturbable calm." ~ Arthur Tappan Pierson

There has NEVER been a moment when I have leaned on my Jesus and He has failed me.  Has there ever been a moment when you have leaned on Him and He has failed?   The precious answer is no...never. <3  From day to day and hour to hour...I have learned that I can't count on my own strength for one second. The future is very unknown at the moment...but I have a FAITHFUL Savior who I know WILL.NOT.FAIL.  Not for a moment. <3   I'm waiting for my Jesus...for FULL healing in my body.  I'm reaching out to touch His robe...and He will let me...and He will heal His PERFECT timing. Because of His divine wisdom I can REST and TRUST in His love, His promises...ultimately, I can REST in HIM. <3 

The weakness in my body reminds me how much I need Him...and the new found strength in my body reminds me what a blessing LIFE and STRENGTH is.  May every fiber of my being be lived for My Lord and My Savior. <3

I love you, Jesus.  Thank you for your overwhelming faithfulness!  In the unknown days ahead...may my trust in you be steady...knowing that You have never failed me in the past and You never will. <3

Love Always,



  1. Thank you so much for sharing how the Lord has been leading and blessing you, Monica! This is so encouraging to read. I find God's rich mercy in times of trial or weakness, for then I see how perfectly He fills my true needs! Praise Him that He has renewed your strength and given you this praise to offer Him. "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him." (Psalm 28:7)

    1. Dear Sarah Lee, Thank YOU for reminding me of Psalms 28:7! <3 Amen! The Lord truly is our strength. Thank you for you sweet comment! God bless you!

  2. Monica, I love reading your blog, when you are strong and when you are weak...because of the way you lift up the name of Jesus always! Your dinner sounds delicious...and all the more so because of what it meant to you.
    Blessings and {{{HUGS}}},

    1. Dear Lori, thank you for your sweet encouragement and for reading my blog! God is so very good to me. God bless you and your family richly!! ((HUGS back at you!)) <3


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